Succint
And so a midweek update – as rare as rocking-horse shitSo I’m trying my best to upset my boyfriend. I don’t know why. If I was to step back and analyse the situation, as I so often patronise with others, then I might, but hey.
A rocky outcrop
I feel lashed by those all around me. There’s nothing I can do and nowhere to hide. I feel I’m in a situation I can’t get out of and yes, now I do feel trapped. Theres no way back now. The face stares at me from the wall.
Pictures of him in my bathroom. Smells of him in my bedroom. So full of life, yet dying a thousand deaths.
I have hijacked the coolest person on earth and forced them to love me and now I feel ashamed – so ashamed I’m too ashamed to escape what I am doing.
I had the dream about the fire in the cellar again. I didn’t wake this time though.
Last modified: Tuesday, February 17th, 2026 at 10:22am
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