Freakcity

dolphinstar
Bonfire of Profanities

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Justice

I was painting

I was drilling

I was putting Ikea units together

I’m now typing

Doing no-thing

And I’m better off than ever

I’m so cheerful

Never tearful

Now I don’t work for anyone else

I feel free

Really free

I suggest to everyone to jack their jobs in and work as receptionists!

I screamed last night. I was watching Property Ladder and for the first time in a long time a TV programme made me feel a pang of emotion. This emotion, ladies and gentlemen, was horror.

For those of you who didn’t see it, an ex-primary school teacher (think of a voice that Rice Krispies would have if they could talk) flowery, girlie, mid-30s with dyed-red hair and giggly. The thought of this person makes me want to projectile vomit onto the lady who is waiting in reception.

She, and her sister, slightly more-level headed (think along the lines of which Kray was less infamous) but still a little dippy, had mortgaged both of their properties in London, given up their jobs and bought a stunning, but slightly dated Art-Deco house in Poole for 375k

The building was stunning, and as a fan of Art Deco myself, I would have loved to have the challenge of doing it up myself.

However, these two ladies had other ideas.

The more dippy one was spending £245 per roll on flocked wallpaper for an Indian-esque living room with vivid pinks and swirls and £2500 on tiles for the downstairs loo.

I insanely laughed as this woman destroyed the heart and soul of this once classic vibrant property

I sobbed and continued to plumb the sink back in my utility room.

Needless to say she was the first person (I think) not expected to make some kind of profit, and the comments left by viewees were less than sympathetic. I’m sorry, but if she can do that, there’s no reason that I can’t do it.

So hopefully before Xmas, hubby and are going to mortgage ourselves stupid and do it ourselves as we’ve both had a stab at doing it now and it’s not turned out too bad, and if banks give morons like that all the money they need, then I’ll have no trouble.

I think I have found my calling 😊

Last modified: Tuesday, February 17th, 2026 at 10:21am