Expellant
The bathroom has turned into a war of attrition.It was in such a bad state the whole thing needed tearing out and starting again, except the the old water tank which was the only thing still in there working.
The floor was removed and replaced, the suite was removed and replaced and parts of a new shower has been plumbed in. If I see one more 90 degree joint i think my head will spin and i will projectile vomit over the beige walls.
Now today I have to remove brickage from teh walls. It sounds like fun so I’m going to start early. I need enough time later on today to tinker with the new strap=on I have to put on.........yes, plumbing is dirteh business
I need to tile the sodding walls. I’m a man with a large hammer and a short fuse – tiling is an anathema to me.
And theres the wonderful wiring of two lights too. Someone small has to crawl through the loftspace. It will not be me!
As for other things, I’m still feeling a bit useless, a bit sickly and sleeping at odd times of the day. I’m still feeling a bit vague and pointless, but that I need to change. I am going to phase out these irritants and start enjoying myself again.
Leaving Mind was like a bereavement to me. I loved it, cherished it and spent all of my time and effort into making it work – then I started to become bitter towards it, hating it – it had to go. And now I have a void – a lost purpose and there’s me floating around in this ether.
I may be offered a job today. I’m not sure whether I should take it or not. It’s a bit of a backwards step career-wise, but to be honest I think I just need something to focus a bit of energy towards. I need to regain some of that lost ground.
I’m no worse off or different to how I was two years ago – I’ve just taken my eye off the ball. I had my own place, a decent career, my health and fitness, and a good network of friends. I still have most of those – my health and fitness I may have to work on – a career I can take or leave
The only major change is that of the person who is my partner. I’ve gone from someone I trust, lots of silly fun but a bit mundane and almost familial, to someone who works and plays hard, always is a bit on edge, and never settles. I don’t know that knowing how I’m feeling at the moment it’s just too much for me to cope with.
Whatever happens – I need to concentrate on myself a bit more. I need to sit down and think of a cunning plan......
One thing that really is pissing me off is this fucking cough. I never signed up to be the biggest phlegm manufacturer in the East Midlands. Gross I know, but thats what I’ve had to put up with since mid January.
Random Thought: I’ve given myself jetlag!
Last modified: Tuesday, February 17th, 2026 at 9:52am
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