The power of goodbye
More surreal dreams, not entirely sure I remember any part of the dream. I remember being stabbed because I chose to distract some bad people from their existing victim (who got away). I also remember feeling entirely sure I was in control until I was stabbed – when I realised I wasn’t in control at all. So yes, my brain is being very obvious in its metaphors. Thanks brain.Work was dull. Slept at my desk some, don’t think anyone noticed much. Left at 6 as I was meant to be meeting David at home, but he wasn’t answering his phone so just went home and chilled a bit. Sat online chatting, then went with moggy to Lidl for some classy shopping. Bought a little too much and staggered home with it all.
Am alarmed by how skint I am – but also by how much money various people owe me.
Got back in, James was back pretending to be sober. Har. Was bitching coz someone had nicked a packet of his fags. Suspected that he’d go ballistic if it was Adam but not care if it was David – a suspicion that I believe was right...he went out to see Trevor
Chatted to ukteen from Out for a bit as he messaged me on MSN to say hello – he’s dirrrty...
David staggered in just after 11 pissed. Ta for turning up for dinner. I had a packet of quavers for dindins and then bed. Apparently his phone had been stolen and so he’d decided to get pissed on free drinks. When I told him nothing was ever free he told me Mark had paid. I told him he had a lot to learn and he replied with “whatever”. Hur
Early night but still felt knackered when I woke up. Chatted to David (who slept on beanbags again – I wouldn’t mind but he seems to soak up people’s bad habits when he spends time with them as well as getting energy – James' bear obsession and Adam’s unreliability) and James who was preparing to go to Italy for a weekend break. Lucky cow.
Shleepeh. Dan wants to go out later to Chariots, so might do that. Meeting David @ Retro @ 7 – if he remembers to turn up today...
Why have I been dreaming more lately? I’ve cut out caffeine in an attempt to make myself sleep better, but I’ve been sleeping less and having far more interesting dreams since – am I the only person in the world for whom caffeine is a soporific?
My mind wanders more and more these days. Does that mean that soon I’ll be off floating around the clouds until I realise I can’t find my centre anymore and can’t get back? Will I meet more like me, floating amongst the clouds? Or will I just believe I am floating, talking to everyone I know. I already have waking dreams where I’m not sure which is truth and which is my imagination – will this final step put me in the funny farm forever? Or am I too engrained in myself to let go enough to stray that far.
Tune in next week for the exciting conclusions...
Last modified: Monday, February 16th, 2026 at 12:29am
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