Freakcity

dimlow

Something immensely stupid people call those that they perceive to be of a lower intelligence than themselves

interstitial pages

pages that are interstitial

see interstitial

noni

fruit from which noni juice is derived.

Curve321

I like that this is next to Cuntsticks in the dictionary.

Daleks

EX-TER-MI-NATE!

Alec R. Costandinos

Alec R. Costandinos' recording career may have been short-lived, but the Euro-disco producer dominated the disco world during his late-'70s reign. After having made

a name for himself after co-writing Cerrone’s “Love in C Minor” in 1977, Costandinos signed to the French label Barclay where he released his first record as Love and Kisses. This self-titled 1977 LP featured the timeless disco hit “I’ve Found Love (Now That I’ve Found You).” Soon he was releasing hit records on America’s most recognized disco label, Casablanca. Perhaps more importantly, though, he introduced the concept album to dancefloor music with his well-regarded Romeo & Juliet album in 1977, followed by a number of other less successful conceptual efforts. He became best known for “I’ve Found Love,” “Romeo and Juliet,” and “Thank God It’s Friday” (the theme song to the movie of the same name), but literally disappeared after a prolific 1977 to 1979 run.

cobaconfee

The only word Scott can manage before breakfast.

sandra

My mum’s name

BMW drivers

Braindead Macho Wankers – to be exact!

colouring in

Common reference used to describe any educational course after Year 9 in Geography

Lamb

A rather cute animal.

Computer Games

They also Cost you a fortune in Hardware Upgrades [PC] for playing the New games that are always comeing out that Demand Better Hardware

Doctor Who

Sci-fi show that is mysteriously popular amongst men in their 30s and 40s, especially gay ones (straight ones usually watch for the assistant instead).

controversy

What happens when your friends/family/coworkers act like they’re in an episode of Hollyoaks and everybody gets too moody about everything.

scottaging

An overnight stay at scott's house.

May include boozing, Swan, XXL, Kazzo, TJ porn, and trying not to wake everyone up with scott’s creaky bed.

Tuatha de Danon

Tribes of the Earth Goddess Dan(u|a)

There were 4 tribes I think and they certainly had 4 treasures.

1. Dagda’s Cauldron, which fed all who came to eat from it.

2. the Spear of Lugh which was so bloodthirsty it had to be kept in a cauldron of poppies.

3. the Stone of Fal which cried out when the true Ard Ri (high King) stood upon it.

4. the Sword of Nuada which could cut through anything.

Forbidden Planet

Exceptionally cool but rather geeky SciFi/Fantasy store in London

Gooch

The sensitive bit between your hole and your genuine Italy (or the “gen Italia” as they say).

alcohol

Can be used as a direct replacement for blood in case i have an accident.

old man collecting

A Hobby.

For this hobby you will need:

a lockable cupboard or room

a packet of bourbon biscuits and some weak lemon drink 😉

wendy

Fat bitch with ginger pigtails who makes Obese burgers in America

clungebucket

Wide vagina

trains

invested by the British... perfected by the French and Japanese....

www.sncf.com

Even India and Mali Railways look good compared to ours.

Eurovision Song Contest

Extremely good camp fun.

Spod

To use a computer – especially the internet – for any purpose that’s not specifically constructive or "useful"

Macromedia Flash

A tool for designing animations, web layouts, images, and interactive interfaces

Swanning

What happens to Scott on a Friday night after too much beer. Usually happens when Gaz turns up and spends much of the evening saying “Swan?” with Scott replying “no”. Gaz will buy Scott a drink and then ask again, until the answer becomes “yes”.

life

Life is a series of keeping things to yourself.

prophylaxis

Preventing exposure to nasty diseases by spending most of the night editing your profile instead of partying.

Dope

A far more enjoyable alternative to alcohol. Symptoms (in me, at least) include mellowness, giggliness and feelieness (qv)

Heaven

Where all dogs go

Recursion

See Recursion.

B3ta loop

When you visit www.b3ta.com at lunch for a quick browse of the latest stuff and then suddenly it’s 5:30 and you don’t know where the afternoon went

ciggies

see also cigarettes

peter

Peter has no dick entry

sunin

Not so much a camp as a caravan park

Gaydar

Community orientated website aimed at bringing people together through events (usually sexual) find mates through linked keywords such as SCAT and cocksize=LARGE. Please do not mention you are looking for a boyfriend because that means you are a potential psycho. Do tell everyone you are happy with you boyfriend and then spend all day logged onto gaydar trying to find your next one.

artisan

Verb: Expensive.

EG: “That bread is so artisan”

Random stuff

THis would involve such acts as running down the road with a traffic cone on your head.

This is not to be confused with drunken behaviour.

absinthe

Three bored prostitutes in Paris.. Get really really pissed on Absinthe.. They pass out and wake up next day to see hundreds of motorbikes in the garden..

One says “Oh God ..what did we do last night??” Another replies.. "Oh dont worry.. didnt you know that... Absinthe makes the tarts grow Hondas..."

Morrissey

Stephen Patrick Morrissey. Rather a good singer/lyricist

Papaya

Spanish for popeye.

Anal Street

See Canal Street

singing in the car

Get funny looks from other road users, sometimes they join in.

Watties

People that go “what” a lot...

shes0nfire

Now known as NormanFreeman.

Name taken from a Train song.

Milton Keynes

Vacuous void of a town (yes...not a city...a town) somewhere around Junction 13/14 on the M1. Famous for concrete cows, pioneering street design and a vast shopping centre – a place unnervingly efficent and practical. Apparently people live here.....I’ve never seen the houses there so they must live in the ground like trolls. Home to the once great, yet sadly maligned Wimbledon FC (R.I.P.)

Lip Synch

A lady’s intimate wash basin

Browns

A colour Greens go when theyve gone off a bit

SPACED

One of the best places to steal all of your witty one liners from.

e.g. ‘Woah there pickle’

I so ain’t declaring anything here

Well you didn’t think there’d be any further information by clicking on that link, did you?

bumhikan

One of the more amusing side effects of using hair gel as lube

Fat Guys

Amazingly goregeous people to certain breeds of gays, who deserve every bit of attention they get. Usually ridiculed by the population at large, spend their time doing fat guy things like smoking a lot, being depressed, starting a family, etc...

– Warning, may be over/under sensitive to thinner people

chocolate teapot

Noun. A useless thing. Usually heard in phrases such as “as useful as a chocolate teapot.” E.g. "A car without wheels is as useful as a chocolate teapot."

looking at computer screens

something which often gets in the way of being, or doing though not to be confused with thinking

trains

The safest form of transport in the UK

Spinach

Good enough for POPEYE, good enough for me.

barbican

part of a castle

iPod

A walkman that looks like a pillbox with built in DRM and a battery that can’t be changed without breaking and entering. Which if was launched by Microsoft rather than Apple would have been flamed more than a troll in newsgroup hell.

Buskers

Join them and share in the profits.

Money

More please!

Nuggetry

The problem with one track minds is they always lead to nuggetry

Ultraviolet

You are not authorised to know this.

Windows

Don’t look into my soul. You won’t like it.

Pished

Adj. Drunk, intoxicated. See ‘pissed’.

That marvelous state you enter after 8 or more drinks. When even the ugliest people start to be come attractive and speech becomes a slurred flurry of obscene misspronunciations (try saying that pished) and gratuitous joining and merging of terms. See also Goin’slash, who’ons’a'rink etc.

netsplits

Putting your foot through the wrong hole in your tights

thatcher

Someone who mends rooves in the country.

Bozone

A band of young boys missing a “y”

Football

(Noun) – a game for lads who are too camp for rugby

Pink Floyd

British band, Got together in the 60s after meeting at Cambridge. Spent all their grant money on musical equipment. Made a name for themselves because of their psychadelic shows, these were twinned with cutting edge light shows and the like. Made it big during the 70s. Sold more albums worldwide than any other band ever anywhere. The Dark Side of the Moon was in the American Album Chart top 100 for 2 weeks short of 14 years. They mostly managed this without writing crappy love songs either 😉

Scott's favourite band ever 😁

Scott’s brother went out with David_Gilmour's daughter.

The band once played in the living room of Scott’s first boyfriend’s parents in the 60s when they weren’t very good.

vomitorium

Large room filled with sycophants

Telepathy

I knew you were gonna say that

Woolworths

Pick ‘n’ Mix tastic!

Big Brother

Nikki Grahame.

Donkey Punch

When doing someone in the bottom, simply punch them in the back of the neck upon ejaculation, while shouting something exclamative. Who’s on bottom THIS week, honey?

chocolate

yumm Moro Bars

Titan

e. cleaning freak!

swan

White bird with long neck. You get in trouble with the Queen if you kill one apparently. And if you feed them bread in the park, they are the most violent of the lot. Honest.

SEB

Somebody Else’s Boyfriend

Faggots

The little bits of kindling used in burning witches and unnatural beings (gays) in the middle ages. Over time, the word was confused to mean the victims of the burning, rather than the wood. Today, we’re ALL BIG FAGGOTS! 😁

spending time down under

Enjoying being Passive

Reading

At place in berkshire

tlentifini maarhaysu

Fictional TV series referred to obliquely in BBC’s spoof 1970s science program Look Around You.

LRP

cross-country pantomime

cats

purrrfect

=(‘.’)=

pink pound

I thought it was a dumping ground for unwanted cars due to the colour of their paintwork

Far

A long long way to run

Microbe

very tiny dressing gown

David Blunkett

The Daily Mail personnified

puddings

Also good for sex, and still teast good after too

theavengers

Unless we’re Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman, in which case we’re residing at the bottom of the bargain bin in Woolworths for £2.99

45

%age of “girls” on cam4 who are actually guys trying to see some straight dicks

FSP

Abbreviation of: Fictional Silver Plane. Occasional tool of music video directors to shows the artiste on a futuristic silver aeroplane. Jeniifer Lopez taunted the DJ on one in her song ‘Play’ and more recently Britney Spears was a toxic stewardess on another

foreskin

something sunin and theted both lack...

Metro

😢 I had one.......It died after I signed the execution document.........well it was a Scrap Amnesty after all.....who could blame me?

Exhibitionist

photographer likes exhibitionists

northampton

Is so South-East Midlands. Not east enough to be Angularn...

orlando bloom(ing lovely

lauras secret lover!

playing scrabble

buttfucking. See gays, filthy

the wall

The popular name for the “pain-barrier”

eg I went through the wall listening to 3 Spice Girls songs on Friday

spiders

q.v. “Aragog”0 in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and “Shelob”0 in LOTR.

furtling

The act of cutting holes in a photograph and popping your knuckles through them to give the appearance of breasts

google

Apparently my uni recomends we use this search engine if we are going to be using the internet for historical research. It’s the best...apparently.

politician

If one shakes your hand, count your fingers afterwards. If their lips move they are lying.

post-punk

period following punk;

see ‘the fall’, ‘joy division’

the religious right

Idiots.

Milton Keynes

Godforsaken place that has no relevance to the existance of human life, except for the fact it is there. No one likes it, but people actually live there. Now you know hwere the Bogeyman comes from.

cheese

food of the gods

Scintilate

commit adultary until about breakfast time

Macromedia Flash

Like newsflash only bigger.

crash

Verb. 1. To share, loan or borrow. E.g.“That’s the third cigarette you’ve crashed off me in the last hour!”

2. To temporarily stay over or sleep at a place other than at one’s own usual abode. E.g.“Can I crash at yours tonight? It’ll cost too much for a taxi home.”

Noun. The situation of crashing (See ‘crash’ verb). E.g.“Come on, get your cigarettes out, it’s your crash.”

T-Bag

Abbreviation for Long Haul travel firm

traveling

Americanism for travelling – usually involves a car of some description and some burgers 😉

Oxford

My second home and future place of residence. Isn’t friendly to drivers but a great place to live. Lovely people. Fantastic shops. Beautiful buildings.

Syd Barrett

Original lead singer/songwriter for Pink_Floyd – Allegedly “Shine on you Crazy Diamond” was written about him as he went a bit loopy on drugs.

Beeston

where Bees live

retro

some pub, bar thingy near Embankment tube

404

term to describe a non-brain-activated action or person. ie. 'she’s a total 404' (comes from the 404 error message when a web-page can’t be found)

ITV

Lowest common denominator telly, designed for chav scum who haven’t found channels other than this, BBC1 and Sky One on their remotes – rarely challenging, often patronising and frequently boring. Their saving grace? Bad Girls and Footballers Wives...

MySpace Suicide

Leaving MySpace in a strop of “you’re all bastards/nobody understands me/I’ve taken 15,000 aspirin and I’m going now” only to return about 5 days later under a different name whilst looking a little sheepish

spiders

Arachnids. The hairy ones are usually quite cute

jaffa cakes

Giles is willing to forgive looting for them, so they must be good.

crap

Noun. 1. Nonsense, rubbish, something useless or not good.

2. An act of defecation.

3. Faeces.

Exclam. An exclamation of disbelief, annoyance.

Verb. To defecate. Defecate is infact a euphemism meaning to purify or cleanse. E.g.“He crapped behind a tree and wiped his arse (anus) with a huge leaf.”

Adj. Rubbishy, of no worth.

hearse

A dodgy pub in the East End of London known as the Black Horse, affectionately called the “Bleak Hearse” by its regulars – tends to be frequented by a strange mix of essex gayers and ladyboys as well as hundreds of faghags and the odd lesbian. Can be quite a laugh at times

Plus they have a pool table. Yay!

Wine

Alcoholic beverage made from grapes, parsnips, dandelions, pretty much anything fruity or vegetable-like.

special

Dish not usually found on the usual board

gareth gates

Dumper-bound has-been

Metal

Not wood.

biscuits

Great with chocolate.

Custard cremes aren’t that bad. Jaffa cakes are horrid.

Orpington

Too dull to be London... but disowned by Kent

Abertawe

Has direct trains to Amwythig.

blithbury

A look someone gives you by which you become aware that they’re much too drunk to have understood anything you’ve said to them in the last twenty minutes.

Jumble Sales

Jumbles Sales are the perfect place to meet older ‘Fag Hags’ normally in the form of little old ladies working for the local WI.

A great place to pick up things to then sell on eBay.

Yorkshire

....and God can keep it

freak

Freak. A person who is envied because they are a fabulously unique individual that can kick ass and that has no need or desire to follow the flock

Aromatic

Handle gadget used by Robin Hood

Snow

Anyone thought about being naked in the snow.... cold but so hot!

pub crawl

Utterly pointless exercise which involves getting up from one pub where you have a seat and walking through some godforsaken town-centre street to a pub where you have not a snowflake in hell’s chance of getting a seat. Repeated ad nauseam until closing time.

Doritos

Crisp evolution

computers

Things that go “bleep” in SciFi movies. Usually have two huge and pointless tape spools on the top...

French and Saunders

They appear live during brilliant concerts dressed as Santa and bully the backing singers! Oh yes!

ian Beale

FUCKING IAN BEALE IS GREAT!

McMammoth

the ultimate in obese constipatory food products from a leading American family restaurant chain

drink

Girls

The AA

School for stutterers

flaps

It’s a women’s magazine

Pathos

One of the three modes of persuasion in rhetoric. Pathos appeals to the audience’s emotions.

NOT one of the three musketeers

UPS

Uninterruptable Power Supply. Big thing with a battery. It plugs into the mains, you plug computers into it. If the power goes out because your flatmate’s 50kw dildo causes a freak surge tripping all your circuit breakers, the UPS kicks in and powers your computer for about 10 mins or so, which is enough time to either have the power back on or for the UPS to tell the computer to shut down quietly

Foo Foo

Our Footle.

la

“A note to follow So”

catomite

Very strong Feline creature.

Lamb

Nice choon from John Taverner, as featured in Orange Photo Messaging adverts.

Milton Keynes

“Wouldn’t be nice if all cities where like Milton Keynes”.. *grab Red Balloon"

Bacteria

Not fond of vancomycin.

codswallop

Noun. Nonsense.

swan

Gay bar in East London, famous for its amateur strip night every Wednesday – tends to be a haunt of Scott’s as it’s 5 mins walk from his flat. Not a bad place, mixed crowd of young and old

Religion

I ya ain’t behavin' ya ain’t gonna Heaven

aconite

The dried poisonous root of various herbs of the genus Aconitum containing aconitine, used externally as an analgesic.

Midlands

Responsible for Working Lunch.

Oyster card

A strange blue card that doesn’t taste like Oyster at all, and makes bus fares on some Red buses 80p but doesn’t work on Green, Blue & Yellow or the white swoopy ones.. Confused of Surrey :s

camp queens

someone to throw out of bed on a sunday morning!

Zoom

Zoom – just one look and then my heart went boom

Suddenly and we were on the moon

Anandamide

Also known as Mandy

marmite

goat poo mixed with cat wee?

Archery

Really quite good fun, and a useful stopgap before you realise that saying you’ll go cycling means school will trust you to leave the campus on a Wednesday afternoon and cycle around South Dartmoor, whereas you actually sit in a field and get stoned lots.

Hypothetically, of course.

pie

The food of Weebl, and sometimes Bob.

404

An unlucky number in China since it sounds like “Si” the Chinese for death. Never drive a car with 4 in the numberplate.

trains

best place for graffiti

Scart to Scart

Analogue TV detective show with a male to female lead

*groan*

vodka

A lovely drink containing alcohol that gets you very pished 😉

Bowel

a letter like A, E, I, O, U

Canonization

The act of being fired out of the pope’s cannon of love.

browns

The result of cloning Gordon Brown*

*Warning: excessive prudence may be injurious to the economy.

Cakes

great with Hash and a cup of tea/coffee

Scott

some fit lookin guy i got on my msn

Windows

Glass things in walls.

yack up

Verb. To vomit. E.g."That was the worst meal ever; I feel like yacking up."

BNP

The British National Party.

A bunch of racist idiots, led by some clever racists.

Have somehow weedled their way into serious British Politics, mainly relying on opportunism.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Longer than Antidisestablishmentarianism, a disease of the lungs caused by dust.

Scott

Lurvely =D

bulge

A phenomenon that happens to people’s stomachs after the festive season

Orpington

This is London Bridge... this is London Bridge, the train standing at platform 3 is the delayed one ten service to Orpington, calling at some dull places. Please note this train is “fast” to Hither Green.

Tea

"a drink with Jam and Bread"

Dilbert

Cartoon about a dog and cat who want to take over the universe and their hapless owner, Dilbert

Willow

A rather bad 1988 film directed by Ron Howard which contracted practically every dwarf in the country as an extra.

Hokey-Pokey

Also a stupidly annoying playground song which must be banished to the darkest depths of history

BombSaph

Bombay Saphire. Another gin I can drink. Bluish in colour, or is that the bottle. Different oodjits in it. Second choice of gins, after tanqueray

Sioux Chef

Cook of native American descent

Devon

the bit between Dorset and Cornwall

zombies

Like monsters, only even more scary. They are undead muthafuckas who want to eat your brain!

Creme Egg

Whole

Nutmeg

Great (or grate) on home-made rice pudding......yummy!

crufty

Shonky. A bit horribly and incorrectly done.

east Dulwich

Increasingly (as of 2006) trendy corner of south-east London, inhabited by those in the know. Allegedly inhabited by those who can’t afford Clapham.

See Peckham.

cycling

Let’s go to Oxford!

closet

Noun. The condition where one’s homosexuality is concealed. ‘Coming out of the closet’ implying living true to one’s sexuality.

Nessa Titty

The mother of Ivan Tion

Dishonesty

See also Blair lies lies its all lies....there is a Swansea

novak

Scott's server. Shiny silver thing that runs his 42" plasma screen. Also ½ of irc.freakcity.net.

Named after Gwen Novak, one of the aliases of Hazel Stone, a member of the Families and one of the people who freed luna

Freaks

The users of this website. We’re a sociable bunch and quite lovely 😊

112

Help

see also 112 and 911

laurs bobbins

Tuppence a fuck

Social networking

The latest thing on the internet. Freakcity could be seen as a “social networking” site. It’s all a bit silleh if you ask me 😉

remy

A marvelous champagne cognac. Comes in variety of qualities: normal, V.S.O.P (old pale), X.O and Louis XIII for the well off. Also tends to make people less sober.

John Woo

Film Director, mainly of action films.

Also:

Rhyming slang for poo e.g. “that John Woo I did this morning had a bit of blood in it”

scott

The epitome of sexual perfection, and my bride-to-be.

Macromedia Flash

Generally rather badly.

dagenham

Adj. Totally insane, crazy. Because on the London underground/rail transport system Dagenham (Heathway) station is 3 stops beyond Barking station. Barking is slang for crazy. See ‘barking’.

Nutmeg

warm, aromatic spice used in a large number of Chrismas dishes and drinks, and available for sprinkling on beverages at Starbucks.

gardening

Keeps old people alive longer – almost as good as gene-splicing and NHS treatment

blue curaco

something not even*I* drink

alcohol

popular drug treasured for its ability to make the imbiber gracefully acorabatic, hugely witty, astonishingly attractive, and breathtakingly wise.

Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to addiction, poverty and, most worryingly, G-A-Y.

Big Brother

fictional character in George Orwells 1984

not wanking

Bloody annoying is what it is.

Moogal

top bloke

Clue

Half an hour of damn funny radio. And Tim Brooke-Taylor

Stoner

me

Waitrose

A Grocery store that refuses to be called a Supermarket. The Co-Op of the prententious Middle Classes. – like the Co-Op but 4 times the price.

TfW

That Fucking Website. AKA OUT. Orangeness, IIS and SQL. With thumbs 😉

Ben Cohen

The Sexiest Rugby Player known to mankind. Something to snuggle up to in cold winter nights. Sex on legs. Men want him, women want him too...

Observe...

Tea

A mild concoction, usually made from the “Tea” plant (Thea Veridis), but can be made from many other plants and fruits.

camping

Sleeping in a field and pooing in a bucket.

Great!

Gordons

Cooking gin. See Gin, Tanqueray, BombSaph

life

The opposite of death

Heathcunt

Name of made for TV musical starring Cliff Richard following slight alteration to the genuine billboard advert by unknown Croydon graffito artist.

Gerald Scarfe

A man married to Jane Asher, queen of “Crossroads Motel” and baking fairy cakes.

Earl

Aristo type who would have been called a Count (like in the rest of Europe), except the Normans were worried about a disturbingly-similar but strangely-less-flattering Saxon word.

Malibu

It just takes one night of drunken fun with this to make you never wanna drink it again. Try thinking about it’s taste the morning after...

Fox

Small furry thing that some people like to send dogs after to kill

D&D

Enter a universe where women have beards and muscular men go on killing sprees all in search of one sought-after ring. Hmmm...sounds a bit like Freakcity actually. 😡

"Those goblins don’t stand a CHANCE against my Fallen Paladin equipped with Codpiece of Destiny +5!! Suck my THAC0!

defenestration

Murdering someone by pushing them out fo a window. Nine out of ten people who know what this word means have read a book by David Eddings

tatchel

to subscrible to tosserism

Heinlein

Robert Anton Heinlein was one of Science Fiction’s grand masters. He wrote, amongst other things, Starship Troopers (although it bears very little in common with the film) and The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, which is currently being developed for television by Tim Minear. Fanfuckingtastic work. My favourite being “The Cat Who Walks Through Walls”, but his most famous probably being “Stranger in a Strange Land”. Which gave birth to the concept of Grok

liff

What there’s a meaning of.

Cabbage

NHS word for a Coronary Artery Bypass Graft

chavettes

see chavette

spending time down under

This must be a euphamism but for what?

ITV

television for chavs..

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

My mate made me buy 2 jugs of this stuff then didn’t drink any of it as she was too pissed. Cheeky bitch.

Midlands

that bit in the middle where Crossroads (all versions) was film

swaray

How stupid people spell “soiree”.

“You are not invited to this soiree because you are a moron for spelling it ‘swaray’”.

Big Finish

What you want on your tongue, from a fine wine.

gays, filthy

""Homosexuals can’t swim, they attract enemy radar, they attract sharks, they nudge people when they’re trying to shoot, they always insist on sitting at “The Captain’s Table”... they *muck about*. Imagine... the fear... when you go to sleep with a gay man on board and think “Oh God, when I wake up, will everyone be dead?” You can’t run a ship like that.“”

New Labour

see also Neu Labore

breathing

The fine art of respiration. Which many people can do :0) Its a great social activity and fun for all the familly. although many a time people are sure to ask that the mother-in-law would just stop doing it.

Breathing is also a particularly bad habit that many 12-26 year old blonde women from essex seem to have picked up. If only there was a slightly less dramatic way of ending their miserable existance then to watch the mass sucide as you tell the westlife have split up or applying arsnic to all gold hoop earings imported to the UK.

History

History will teach us nothing

Insolent

Fell off the Isle of Wight ferry

eggs

mmm ovum :0)

Donnie Darko

Sends me drooling over Jake Gyllenhaal (but lose the chest hair), and going WTF at the ideas explored. Overall – loved it – loads. And yes, I’m a gayer 8-)

Emos

What I am one of... apparently

rugby

Thighs! Mmm!

verbal diarhhoea

Spelt wrong. Tsk

bulge

Battle which took place in Ardennes in the winter of 1944/1945.

Ben Cohen

.. his brother can be found loitering in my place of work once or twice every year

Red Dragon

Very nice and stong stout. Also known to get scareglow’s drunk.

eggs

See MySound

Zoom

It sounds good. Means fast!

Bingle

The noise a computer makes when it wants your attention 😊

quite

Has two almost opposite meanings. (a) “mildly” as in “I’m quite impressed by Robbie Williams” (b) “extremely” as in “I’m quite infuriated by Robbie Williams”. Take your pick, but do be careful.

barbican

Somewhere I hope to live one day.

Dwarf

(myth) Short, stubby, tough as nails mythical men who lived in dark caves. Usually mining and melding metals. Known for their thick beards, hatred of elves, and for being totally badass.

Not to be confused with Show White’s dwarfs. They are pansys. real dwarfs are like ninjas. only shorter. and stuff.

Monsters

Real Monsters; amusing cartoon from Nickelodeon.

dna

National Dyslexics' Association

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Splash a puddle of Angostura bitters into a saucer and place the sugar cube in it to soak. This will take a minute ot two. Stir the Champagne (or sparkling wine), the Vodka and the Blue Curacao together in a container and put into the fridge to chill. Place the soaked sugar cube in the bottom of the Champagne glass, pour in the mixture and add drop in the cocktail onion, which should be loose, not on a cocktail stick

instamatic

Hipster mating device

wasp

Like a bee, but with a taste for jam.

cynds

3: doesn’t like big words 😊

jam

Blue Jam

The original three series

stroke

What old people get when their memory falls off

fuckwittage

the acts of fuckwits.

404

Proving that you have failed at websearching, and at life as a whole.

Cells

Places the inhabitants of which give her majesty pleasure.

Kitten-on-a-stick

Scott’s BBQ speciality

Nutmeg

Grenada’s main export

hugging

Like a cuddle,only less intimate, and leading to less sex

ASBO

In the Chav religion, this is somewhat equivalent to “Jihad”. Context: “Oy m8, stop that fukkin round or ill get an asbo on ya”. Usually should be placed squarely on the shoulders of the one shouting it. Some chavs like to collect ASBOs and will attempt to get in trouble just so they can have more.

cycling

Tell that to this man!

Not to mention that cycling up hills gives you really toned arse!

ecstasy

I have been know to enter said state of extreme happiness after winning £4.75 on a bet on the Martell Grand National in 1998

monsters

"My mommy always said there were no monsters – no real ones – but there are."

Pretty men

[n. pl.] A particular genus of human noted for their aesthetically pleasing arrangement of facial features and/or hairstyle. Most tend to look good half dressed and photographed in black and white. May or may not have more than two GCSEs.

dick

The FreakCity dictionary.

wanking

*giggle*. Well you all know what that means, <i>surely</i>?

Mobile Phone

device for the downloading of porn off the WAP (WAP: WIRELESS ADULT PHONE)

tuppence

Tuppence, Tuppence?

The term (formerly) used to detail 2 pence.

Immortalized in the film ‘Mary Poppins’.

Food

Yummy scrumptiousness...like coconut macaroons....or anything pastry-infested 😊

bacon sandwiches

Lots of ferrets.

cynds

apparently a native child who know nothing and lack manners?

make anysense to you?

Aardvark

Aardvaark never killed anybody

Gin (with tonic

Vitamins G and T.

Should be taken daily.

Rangitoto

Volcano in the Hauraki Gulf...

Deodato

King of the fender rhodes, such a dude!

knitting

"i’d rather be knitting"

Co-Op Out

To veg out on chocolate, crisps and other junk/convenience food from your local corner store.

pies

Plural of pie.

Old People

Young people a few years on.

skinheads

Gay men with shaved heads who often wear agressive and intimidating clothing. Get their kicks consensually beating the shit out of anyone they percieve as attractive. Not to be confused with [1].

Douglas Coupland

Author of Generation X, which has a loud pink cover which messes with your eyes. It’s also a very good book with no real ending, just a long string of modern parables.

controversy

Contra – Against

Versus – The line (of writing)

Not to take the established line but rather to see an alternative, a sign of intelligence.

chicken

Noun. 1. A young person. Very common on the gay scene for an attractive young male.

2. A game of courage in which competitors dare one another to complete a given task. Usually a game of adolescence.

Adj. Cowardly. {Informal}

scone

A savoury cake, nice piping hot with butter or (I’ve discovered recently) cold with jam and clotted cream. The correct pronuciation of the word “scone” is one of the most controversial and hotly debated subjects in the history of creation.

Banjo

Guitar for inbreds

Gaz

french for gas

spending time down under

Visiting Australia?

photography

Something at which I wish I were better

G-A-Y

Hellish dinge pit in central London playing utter trash

Daily Mail

election Flyer for the BNP..

not fit to wipe your arse on

name value pairs

High profile couples much sort after at socialite dinner parties, as in “Felicity, can we invite both Charles & Camilla and Madonna & Guy? They’re both such great name value pairs.”

doncaster

Train to Leeds sometimes stops there, thankfully not for long.

The List

The list has been around for a good number of years now — set up as the Mark Thomas Mailing List, he’s close to our heart but not the only thing The List is about. Comprising some 100 odd chatty left wing types, it’s a great place to meet people and discuss what’s going on. Also I don’t think there’s ever been a question asked of it that The List’s collective mind hasn’t been able to answer.

Subscribe mark-thomas

majordomo@gbnet dot net

E

E is for Electroclash. Everyone’s favourite 'clash.

Radio 4

that station where joan collins had an argument live on air

MySound

I forgot imature.

you make the rules

Roughly approximates to “I have something on you and if you don’t behave I’m gonna be a cunt”

Ronald Hutton (Prof)

The leading authority on paganism and the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. He’s great.....just look at his picture!

boring

See Sunday.

vedgie

A vaginal wedgie. Also known as splitting the twix.

Dolphinstar

Two random, unconnected nouns brutally stapled together to form a wooly, gay name for a less-wooly and less gay man