Freakcity

Rhyn

My band. Recently released a home-recorded CD with a few songs I’ve writ, and soon to follow with DVD including footish of us prancing about, running over seals and cooking! It’s early days yet, Rhynners!

Social network

What the kids have instead of friends these days. Grmbl.

sitting

see standing the act of not standing, but not quite lying, rather somewhere in between....like when a gayer bounces on cock

Birmingham New Street

A concrete carbuncle with dark cellar of a rail station with claustrophobic platforms underneath.

Oyster card

Beats queing for a ticket.

Chickenhawk

An older gent who exclusively hunts young pretty boys 😊

cheap fags

cf Ku Bar

Demoracy

An as yet unrealised system of government in which the people do the governing.

Many people claim to be living in democracies (see USA). They’re all lying and are mostly living in Republics but are too stupid to spot the difference.

Chicago

Home to the USA’s tallest building, and the country’s busiest airport.

Famous for gangsters and jazz.

Heaven

See Religeon

chuck

Noun. An term of endearment. E.g.“Come on chuck, let’s go out.”

Verb. 1. To vomit.

2. To terminate a relationship. E.g.“I’m going to chuck her at the weekend, she’s really annoying me with her moaning.”

Llama

A chavvy alpaca

Barcode

The home of Letcherous poofs who like to pretend they’re all grown up and not letcherous at all.

Cheap beer on Mondays though 😉

We once saw Seanyboy’s willy on the dancefloor in there.

* Scott gets all wistful...

conservatives

Dead parrot..

Jim

Extremely embarrassing thing to do, especially when done so professionally by Scott.

Porn

One of my many ex-professions

New Labour

cf. Conservatives

Homie-Sexual

a gay person who has an interest in urban cultures, such as hip hop, graffiti, b-boying/breaking, turntablism.....

Aromatic

too catch ducks..(see above)

defenestration

removing Windows from a PC in favour of something a little less crap

marxism

A form of shopping founded by Charlie Marx, eldest brother of Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Gummo and Zeppo.

Secret Life Of Us

An Australian drama revolving around the lives of the residents of an apartment block in an urban suburb of Melbourne. It follows the characters through some of life’s most complex journeys, as they search for themselves in their work, social and family lives, yet always following one simple rule: all roads lead back to your friends.

Bucket List

KFC menu

Beer Sweets

without a shadow of a doubt, the best penny sweets in the world. They’re little jelly pint glasses that taste not very much like beer, but they even have head! And they taste great! AND they’re only available in my village!

If I could, I would eat only them.

web

Something to do with Tim Bernars-Lee and something called the Internet.

Theaksto

Jamie Theakston. Tall gorgeousness. Oh I would.

weeabix

Perverted breakfast

Gaz

Words Fail to Describe the Horror of Gaz...

debauchery

The absence of bauchery

FoIP

Fire over IP™.

Ever wanted to set fire to someone’s face over the internet? Well now you can!

Nuggetry

Person or thing defined as being lovely to the ears, eyes, or mouth

Countryside

Killing Piers Morgan

Jim

Verb.

The action of accidentally sending a highly personal email to an entire mailing list instead of the intended recipient. Kudos if the person the email is gossiping about is actually on said list.

A lesser Jim is when you mispost from one list to another. CF Jim from the MT list crossposting to Urban Cyclists frequently.

Although Jim’s original Jim is the best, some others have managed to Jim noticeably well, including Scott who once Jimmed about an ex friend’s mental state to the list that person was on.

scope

Spastic

bum

Noun. 1. The buttocks or anus.

2. A objectionable person.

3. A beggar, homeless person. Derog. [Orig. U.S.]

Verb. 1. To beg. E.g.“Can I bum a cigarette off you until I buy some later?”

2. To bugger, sodomize.

Custard

Nice down your pants.

Lloyded

Solemm offical Act of hugging performed by the black Chaser Lloyd. Involves him grabbing your belly from behind, while pressed close to you, and running said hands acrross belly in a circular motion. Mostly used as a form of Bear/chub tester to see how well friends have developed, but also used as a form of affection for a good and strong friend. May involve Lloyd purring like a little girl and making solemm ‘mmmm’ noises.

Warning: Noises may possibly be of Lloyd thinking dirty things to do with subject during Rubbing phase. You have been warned.

SFW

Safe For Work

Deeved

When buggered by [Deev].

Abattoir

Three in a bed in a monastary

Boredom

See Coventry, Slough, Bracknell & Canada

Windows

The worst operating system in the world ever, designed for continued frustration.

special

Er..you mean adjective surely Scott?

Slang term for anything gay.

"Shall we go to the Special Pub tonight, darling?"

vegetarian

someone who does not eat meat nor fish. If you eat poultry but not red meat you are still NOT a vegetarian.

Poledriver

Death on four wheels. Am in Warsaw trying to cycle and seriously, these guys make London cab drivers look normal.

angel

A lurvley song by the The Corrs.

Uri- Lift

A Manhole that becomes a urinal at night

WASP

We Are Sexual Perverts, surely!

Freedoms

Something American knows nothing about.

bull dyke

Noun. A masculine lesbian. Typifies the heterosexual necessity to impart male traits in a derogatory fashion, however the term is used and accepted within the scene.

stephen fry

Stylish comedian, author, and actor with sexy brain.

Presents QI. Played Wooster in Granada adaptation of Jeeves and Wooster.

those urban types

Generic term for people who not only are tragically unfabulous, but in fact fall well below the acceptability threshold.

chav

An over-used last season word sometimes used by wannabee Trisha addicts who can’t quite give up their desire to be Lord/Lady Snooty.

camping

French for campsite. Which would explain why there’s a campsite in Croatia called Camping Polari. No, really.

See Polari.

Countryside

fresh air and fields rapidply being erorded by Tesco, B&Q, Homebase, Mcvomitit drive thrus and plastic happy chefs. and pseudo villages for the “we’ve just moved here from Finchley” set

Bentonite

Will make Superman gay.

Also a type of clay used for its swelling properties on wetting and low permeability.Often referred to by me as 'nature’s tampon'

Devon

The place where they know how they make it soooo creamy

Mottram-in-Longdendale

The arse-end of civilisation. I searched for about half-an-hour to find a decent link. I couldn’t find one. Just search on Google or said equivalent.....you’ll see what I mean

antidisestablishmentarianism

A high score in Scrabble but there is never enough room on the board!

iPod

Yet another show of genius from the legend that is Steve Jobs – we bow down to you and your mighty Mac.

Kylie

she should be so lucky so stuffin' chuffin' lucky

Wallnuts

Wallnuts. Crawl up walls when no-one’s looking and land on your head when you least expect it.

Come in salted, dry roasted and hairy flavours

Fugly

or "fat and ugly"

Griffin

Public house in the Northamptonshire village of Pitsford known for decent grub, family entertainment and various break-ins elevating it to the crime capital of the East Midlands