Freakcity

Bejiggity

adj. To get all worked up about something, to the point of obssession. As Christina is about Peter in The Sweetest Thing.

“You are so bejiggity”

“I am not bejiggity about Peter”

"Oh my god. You named him"

fannybatter

crufty and vile concept of dried juices being all crispy, like batter.

Ick 😉

Cameron Fox

*slap*

The XX

PG Porn.

ID cards

A really really stupid idea

Seurat

A large french rodent you find down drains

David

The stone man with a tiny classic Grecian knob.

Bad stuff

Stuff that isn’t good

Canteloupe

Unable to run off and get married

C4

Plastic explosive. Hur.

cb3000

A chastity device. For blokes

angel

Spin off from Buffy that went on for 5 seasons and eventually grew into its own show with its own backplot and everything

northampton

Where you’re worth as much as your trainers and mobile phone.

Oleophobic

Someone who hates oil and doesn’t think it should have equal rights. Probably secretly oil based themselves.

Meatover

Noun. Like a hangover, but after too much burger. Often happens after a visit to The Bird

keybuk

person who can’t hit backspace without hitting enter

jaded

Jaded – (adj) to be racially bullied by a monkey of lower than average

intelligence (usually fem.).

scottage

pronounched Scot-t-age – a kind of soup not made by Ena Baxter

Kate

Kiss me.....

Shut

Pedestrian-only passageway in central Shrewsbury. There are over 20 in the town and many of them are medieval in origin. As used in the phrase "Many visitors enjoy exploring the hidden shuts and passages of Shrewsbury"

gin

Serve with a*whiff* of tonic, with ice and slice.

Decent gins: Tanqueray & Hendricks'. Bomb.Saph == vaguely acceptable.

Q-Bert

A really sodding difficult game that I am obsessed with...and have finally made it to the fourth level.....go me!

Mash Potato

potatos, abused with some kind of squishing device until lumpy and unedible.

Curve321

Strident female.

Northampton

A place too large to be a town and too small to be a city. Entered into the Guiness Book of Records in 1962 for having the most Freaks per square inch than any other place this side of the Urals. Famous for shoemaking, excessive amounts of rain, frequent traffic-light blackouts. One train station, no reputable taxi service

Bukkake

Where mummy and daddy and daddy and daddy and daddy and daddy and daddy decide mummy needs a new facial.

FuckShitPissWillyBollocks

What you say when you’ve just bashed your head on something by accident.

Cakes

No they’re not.

buffy

A television show full of CIA subliminal suggestions to turn gay men straight.

LRP

Easier to find than Super Unleaded

QBoy

Pretty faggot rapper.

barbican

crap alcohol free beer that tastes like piss – once advertised by Sean Bean. – still available in Saudi Arabia!

puddings

Tasty later course(s) in meals. Apple crumble and creamy custard, for example.

vegetarian

french word for weirdo

the doctor

A time lord, now the last of his species. Does a lot of meddling on, in and around the planet Earth. Has many enemies including Daleks, Cybermen and Autons.

ID cards

A really really really stupid idea

You Cube

Where the Borg post videos of their assimilations on the internet

Ultraviolet

Electromagnetic radiation with a wavelength shorter than that of visible light.

skeptic’s annotated bible

Is immensly useful, and also occaisonally funny. Feel free to quote from at will to annoy evangelists.

conservatives

Ann Winterton... say no more..

the party for Cheshire, surrey, kent, sussex and Hertfordshire...

sci fi

Jason’s Mum pronounces this “skiffy” and does not like it when Jason’s Dad has it on the TV.

cocaine

An orgasm wrapped in pure confidence, more addictive than sex but slightly cheaper if you’re having trouble pulling. Will convince you that you’re the most important, scintillating and fabulous person in existence; will convince everyone else that you’re a complete twat.

Coke has been called the rich-man’s speed: This is about as accurate as calling sex a more exciting form of aerobics.

Twatty Hat Day

Twatty Hat Day

It stems from my time of working at the garden centre. It generally happens around christmas/new year period where people are seen out in public in the most revolting hats know to man.

being on-time

Something I rarely do, except in times of crisis, or if I want to scare friends

scott

Surname of a blonde lovely whose first name was Serena. First came into our bleak little lives when she appeared on Breakfast Television with other notable celebrities of the day. Later went on to present The Clothes Show with Jeff Banks. Who is a short arse. Who also would not know clothes design if it came up to him, ripped his clothes off, gave him the best rodgering he’d ever had, doused itself in petrol, and set itself alight with the words, "Oi you short-arse git Banksy, I’m Clothes Design!"

Pub Quizzes

Collections of like minded superiors who do battle for ghastly amounts of booze, money, food and uranium by answering as many questions as they can correctly in a set amount of time

......well not uranium really, that would be plain silly and tres dangerouse

LOL

“Laugh out loud”

Variations include “ROFL” – roll on floor laughing

“LOVL” – Laugh out very loud (with as many Vs as necessary)

and “LMAO” – laugh my ass off.

Sunderland

A big city in the north east.

Known in the past for mining and ship building.

It now has a large university.

chav

If your definition of a good time is putting on your best Burberry knockoff hat, fake Nike trainers and the entire of the Elizabeth Duke collection all at once, going out, buying some unidentified pills with smiley faces on with your dole money and then taking them whilst at home watching Trisha then you’re probably a chav.

Or replace the pills with gin and you’re probably fruitbat

Either way, you’ll end up with 6 children, a wife with unappealing tobacco breath and large gold hoopy earrings and a satellite dish bolted to the side of your council flat.

See link below

flapping

What one does in lieu of actual work in an office if one is management and there is a deadline approaching.

Generally slows down work for everyone else, forcing them to work late, but makes you feel better.

Swansea

Town Edward lied to Tubs about -“You lied Edward there is a Swansea”

42

The answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.

trouser cough

Accidental explosion of arsebreath from one’s sphincter. Oft accompanied by giggling and screaming if either mogwai or Scott are involved

filth

click below

Noize

Stuff that’s not really music.

David Blunkett

Rather cute (?) politician who of whom many freakcity dwellers love to hate

RKS

Robert ‘Tango Kid’ Kilroy-Silk. One-time daytime-tv presenter, once Labour MP, once UKIP MEP, now ‘Veritas’ or something like that.

Information correct at time of going to press...

Bacteria

Returning more upset than when you left

Huggle

Has to be the most annoying word ever. Overused by infuriatingly lovey-dovey chat room addicts to gaim favour among the chat rooms addicts with a higher social rank.

Griffin

decesed logo of deceased bank

boffins

People like this: www.traintesting.com/images/HST_York_1973.jpg

nsfw

Not Safe For Work; usually filth.

colouring in

Involving using felt tip pens and a colouring book.

Going over the lines is considered "wrong"

Donnie Darko

Very very cool film starring a bloke called Jake Gyllenhaal – info about it can be found on its website, which was produced by the same amazing people who did the RequiemForADream website. Don’t really know how to explain the film, other than to say it’s amazingly good if a little confusing 😉

standing

The act of not sitting, being in an upright and locked position...like on planes 😊 very similar to but not entirely unlike the act of being arrested

absinthe

“The Green Fairy”.

doctor who

Thrilling adventures in time and space

Fart

Something I just subjected stikki to. And now she’s run away 😢

Lucky dip day

When you run out of clean pants then find a pair rummaging in the laundry bin

Seagulling

The act of getting close to climax, then finishing off out a window, preferably in a high-rise flat. It’s lucky if you’re hit, don’t you know.

cycling

transport designed for The Nederlands, Belgie, Cambridgsehire and Lincolnshire (holland)

Emos

Basicly posers who think that playing insterments badly and singing about things that wont matter in three weeks makes them cool.

See- Protests child labor while buying from Hot Topic

Coventry

If only the Germans won the war......

Swansea

Gayteway to the Gower

layogenic

<la.yo.jenik> adj. likely to look attractive from a distance

D&D

Roll-playing rather than role-playing

Yorkshiremen

The best people in the country.

downtime

A time-phase of inner searching to understand and ponder upon a problem/question/activity that may or may not be related to recent events. Signified by the subject going quiet and sometimes muttering to himself for long periods of time. Known to last from 30 minutes to 3 hours.

Titian

Ian after the op.

Men

Like Women, but with willies and no tits (well most are)

verbal diarhhoea

Shutthefuckupitis.

Swansea

My pretty, shitty city.

007

Bond, James Bond

404

The numbers on my registration plate

camp queens

Something to point at and laugh at of a Saturday evening.

Mash Potato

“Everybody knows Badger loves.... Mash Potato!”

the series got banned by the RSCPA as city kids killed rural badgers with packs of Cadburys Smash

Urine

Opposite of you’re out

spotlight

Finds stuff quickly.