Freakcity

Bleh. I hate the 10th. It reminds me that I met Chris on this date two months ago. And now I’m regretting it. Now I’m thinking maybe I just don’t ever want to see him again. I even thought about deleting him from the site just so I didn’t accidentally find his pic on here again. But I behaved.

Fo...

cunted last night. Not yet strong enough to deal with whatever the fuck is going on around me, can’t feel it any more, so just drank until it stopped. Then drank some more. Became miserableDrunk and crap, should apologise to Alan for him having to listen to it.

Retro then Swan. Then home, sleep a...

“To Mr Van Looy For being a bastard but a lovely one at that. Happy Valentine’s Day (almost) From:Your Valentine”

I now own Aerial on vinyl. But I am confused as to who sent it me 😡

Tis the type of thing Owen’d do, but I don’t get the message if it’s him.

Tis the type of message Chris’d send...

My lunch and a packet of fags just came to £6.66. Is there something someone’s trying to tell me?

Poised. Not sure what to do but knowing I need to do something. It’s tricky to work out what though. I know what I’d like to do but I’m not allowed. Makes me sad 😞

Work was long. Went straight home and did more freakcity bits, including jellybeans :D.

So if you’re a random person reading my b...

Sometimes I feel like I want to curl up and die.

Sometimes I feel so alive.

I am all over the place at the moment. But finding it hard. I haven’t seen him in over three weeks, haven’t spoken to him in a week and I just can’t stop caring. I don’t know what to do. Some days are sneaky, it creeps u...

Out last night. Went to Retro to insert a graphics card into Owen (his PC is nearly as ill as Novak ;)) and bumped into James so got a hug and a chat until Owen arrived. I had a strong feeling about something so was on edge all night. A feeling that something bad happened last night, I think I know ...

Oh well. Least I got loads done this weekend. You can be astonishingly pretty with CSS when you want to be 😁

Almost finished the diary. A tiny bit more to do (messaging event organisers when comments are left – plus the ability to start a thread from the diary prepopulated with your event). Then...

Can’t sleep. Keep waking up too early. Think I’m going to try and doze again in a bit but for now, no idea. Out on Friday, ended up at the Swan with Nich, Lloyd, Warren and TJ. Think it was fun but I’d had a little too much tea by this time. Spent an horrific amount of money, but hey, that’s what it...

Missed out on Morrissey tickets*again*. Bah!

Not paying £57 to see him. Well, am fairly sure I’m not going to anyways. *sigh*

Oh well...

I writ a little ditty on the way in as I was bored...

Marshmallow Heart Spinning in my chest gooey inside It softens to see you

Sweet innards Smooth and pink It surrenders to your touch

Black and cracked On the outside So who’d know? As you devour it whole

I...

One of my other Jameses (Scottish one, not Danny’s ex, came to Heaven once with us, Owen’d remember *cackle*) just popped up on MSN with the name “Valentines day is just like herpes. Just when you think it’s gone for good it rears its ugly head once more”.

So I’m not the only bitter twisted and c...

Ate hotwings yesterday. They seem to be coming back to haunt me. Ow!

So yer, eating sensibly is*ahem* not working too well...damn grandmothers...

Not sure what to do at the moment with any part of my life so am just going to float about. Was thinking about starting something new with someone but ...

Sleepy. Need more sleep. Need hugs. Made the mistake of looking at a picture yesterday...just made me miss him holding me. 😞

Retro last night. Drank a little too much, but it was cool. Cheered Lloyd up (I think). No James so no hugs. Got Owenhugs and Simonhugs and Lloydhugs and Bumphugs though. ...

I was barely sitting down in the loo when I heard a voice from the other cubicle saying: “Hi, how are you?”

Not being the type to start a conversation in the toilet, I don’t know what got into me but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doing just fine!”

And the other person says: "So what are you u...

Blurgh. Have a cold again and feel pretty crappy. Wah!

Had my jabs last night, with Lloyd and Nich. Now I feel like I’ve been playfully punched in both arms and my joints all ache. Although I maintained some level of butchness and didn’t whine about it like certain people we know 😉

I’m blogging...

I am a meat popsicle.

My Aunt has cancer and is considering training to become a Reiki instructor. Only it’s a lot of money. So, dear reader, should healing be charged for? I am in two minds. If it’s a way to make ends meet I suppose I wouldn’t mind. But if it’s a bored Essex housewife thinking o...

Somewhat up in the air, filled with expectations that never come to fruition. I am empty, alone in the cold. I feel I can never be whole. I am lost in an ocean of predictability. One turn leads here, another leads there. I have shut one door and am just waiting for another to open.

Warren got a f...

have found Dan. Have an address to write to, hopefully I can go see him and say hello. Somewhat relieved lots 😊

Season 3 of League of Gentlemen is pretty damn good. Not as many moments of genius as the previous season but pretty good. In all the fun on Friday I forgot to mention I’d watched it at last.

Friday . Thought about turning my blog off, so did. Went for a walk and changed my mind. It’s my life, d...

Chatting on and off with Chris all day. Mostly it’s been good...so am hoping when he reads the above he understands that I wrote it on the bus, before I’d talked to him, I hope he understands where I was coming from and understands that that’s not exactly how I feel now. It’s all good I guess. More ...