Freakcity

MANY CHANGES UNDERFOOT!!!!!

I’m such an INTP

Narcolepsy looks like fun. I wish I had it.

I feel that we don’t have enough referenda in this country. I’m going to move to Ukraine where I can vote at least 3 times a year.

I’m on a bit of a roll at the moment. Things are good. I always feel so much better in a recession. I think it brings o...

I’ve always thought myself quite tenacious if anyting ting thats not my name

I’m at some kind of plateau in life i think. I have no goals or aims and it makes me think that if everything just stopped right now there would be no regret – no sense of forboding – no odd smell of toothpaste – no rand...

Whats wrong with being reclusive? I’m quite happy being on my own

Why can’t people just fuck off and leave me alone 😞

So the wheel turns more

I spend most of my life dodging life, immersing myself in detail rather than substance.

I still have no job and money has run out and I’m a weensey bit worried now

I now have a man too who adores me, but i’m not sure it’s for the right reasons.....only time will tell...

So time for a quick brain defrag

Quite a bit has happened recently.

New job – bit pants – but that was to be expected. I get to talk about colours in words like teal and cerise unlike the normal blokey-favoured, green and pink. And when I start talking about colours with two words, like Berry ...

Mirror

In darkness, I am darkness

My world exists only in the light

When you are there to watch me

You see me, I copy you

But have no substance you can touch

I imitate your uncertainty

In light, inescapable

Always ready to perform, yet

Only I see your slipped mask

You lie, yet I am...

The bathroom has turned into a war of attrition.

It was in such a bad state the whole thing needed tearing out and starting again, except the the old water tank which was the only thing still in there working.

The floor was removed and replaced, the suite was removed and replaced and parts of ...

London has a greater nutter per square inch ratio than anywhere else in the country maybe apart from Wycombe and possibly Melton Mowbray.

On my return journey from an unsuccessful attempt to get some of my initial deposit money back from those idiots at the housing association, I was regaled with...

I feel very vulnerable at the moment and it’s not a hat I wear with ease.

The move to London fell flat – mainly because they weren’t paying anywhere near the money they promised to me – costs start mounting and me being me just gets dragged down with everything – one straw after the other. Instea...

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realise that my emotions have been up and down a bit recently. Today, I’m a bit sombre.

It may be the last day for me at Mind dependent on how the chat with the Chair goes. To be honest, both him and his missus took the news a little too personally as though...

Well

Where do I start?

I have been offered a new job – albeit temporary – but lots of wonga and a lot less hassle all round – and you know what – I think I’m going to take it on....

....back at the NHS (i know, i know)

but even better than that – Its in London and it is only viable if I ...

Debauched...........

...............well and truly

Issues have been addressed.

N and I have gone through what belongs to each of us and toyed with what to do next. I’m staying put for a while, he wants the company, I don’t want the travelling, and we’re not getting on that badly all told.

After the compensation claim, we went down the pub and ...

I just can’t paper over the cracks anymore.

We had thanksgiving again and once again it was a pleasurable and emotional affair with a bunch of strangers. I know many mock the Americans for their collective behaviour but these Americans are truly delightful people.

I had to talk about what have...

Oh my God

Ontop of everything else – I think I’m falling in love 😡

I was supposed to go into work today and “welcome back” one of the ladies who I banned last month.

I can’t be bothered. I’m losing my grip on everything around me.

I’ve been reading some of my previous journals and some of them struck a chord with me. I hadn’t recounted for a while. Excluding...

So

I am quasi-single after all these years. I am also near-doubly-employed. I am at my nadir of health – physical and mental and i am sitting in between a bathtub and a sewing machine

It seems I have no privacy or solitude like I have feared all these years and I can take it no more.

Life i...

Oh life is fun

I barred two long standing members from the centre today.*cackles*

This is like SERIOUSLY major and has serious complications for myself and the trustees, but I thought “bugger it, I’ve had enough of this petty lark squabbling”

Apparently I shall be castigated from someone o...

I’ve had a lazy day.

Spent the day doing housework mainly, pottering around just trying to relax. Did some weights yesterday for the first time in about 6 months so at least I’ve cracked that barrier.

Friday I had to remortgage my flat to save my parents from financial peril (*again) I thought...

I’m tired.

The “members” are away for a week in Yarmouth so I have the run of the building. First of all I’m putting up a partition, then replacing the pool table, lighting, flooring, furniture and other general decor I can find.

Then I’m going to hire a skippage and chuck all this crap away. ...

This DIY counselling is fun. I think I’ve realised why I dislike life for the most part.

I think I’m annoyed with myself for just moping around and not getting on with things. I hate the teenager that I once was. I hate the fact that the “best years of my life” are the ones I spent hiding away ea...

Brioche is fun

Brioche is bready

Rhythm has your two hips moving

That’s a crap rhyme

My English teacher should be shot

So I don’t know anymore

How can you be so happy and so sad at the same time.

M asked me to come over today to spend the whole day in Luton – of all places. I have never known someone blow so hot and cold so quickly. I feel as though I’ve had my fingers burnt again and I should think myself rat...